Peoww News

Despite the reviews suggesting that its either quite poor or quite good (depending on how much advertising space they’ve bought), we’re tentatively excited about Dead Island – the zombie survive ’em up that hits UK shelves today.

That said, the game does seem cursed right now with plenty of technical issues plaguing the game (and eating its flesh).  The worst/most hilarious of which was them releasing a debug version onto Steam by mistake.  A version which has now led to further controversy when it was discovered that one of the early skill perks was called ‘Feminist Whore.’

Oh dear.  That said, if it had been in the full game, people probably wouldn’t have batted an eyelid.  The lesson here is that if you’re going to be a cunt, be Rockstar and base your entire marketing strategy and softography around it.  Rich

Peoww News

The Driver series has been dead to us, and all other right-minded gamers, ever since the reviews scandal around Driv3r but, for whatever reason, they’ve released a new one, Driver:  San Francisco, to universal apathy. 

The ridiculous drive-and-possess-’em-up’s soon-to-be-entirely-vacant multiplayer component was due to get one of those money-grabbing ‘online pass’ things but thanks to a printing error in the manual, they accidentally gave it away free to everyone in America, leading to Ubisoft having to do the same for the rest of the world.  Not that anyone will be playing it for long.

Some free DLC is also on the way although they have also announced plans to drop extra DLC (not for free) weekly for ten weeks.  Whatever.  Rich

Peoww News

Fans of the pretty-but-punishing off-roader Pure and the straight-to-bargain-bin Split/Second will be dismayed to learn that Black Rock Studio, the Brighton-based developers of arcadey racing games is being shut by Disney Interactive.

We’re sure they’ll resurface with yet another racing game somewhere else but, for now, we mourn yet another UK dev team.  Even if we never really liked their games.  Rich

Peoww News

Call us cynical but something’s making us uneasy about Square Enix’s new undead-’em-up Dead Island.  The review embargo ends on the release date, retailers are already slashing the price of it for pre-orders and the one review to come out, courtesy of IGN, gives it an apologetic 8 out of 10 write-up whilst the entire site carries adverts for the game in the background.

Also, a quick bit of research on the devs, Quick Silver, reveals a less than stellar softography that includes Risen and the annoying-as-fuck Sacred 2.  Amusingly Quick Silver is the UK arm of parent company Koch Media.  Chortle! 

We’ll be reviewing the game soon and you can be sure we won’t be swayed by the pressures of Koch.  Rich

Peoww News

The Forza games have always struck us as being tedious finicky bullshit for people who know too much about cars but the new one, Forza 4, is pulling out all sorts of cunt’s tricks for those of you who like achievements and know what a carbureta does.

Aside from such hateful gems as ‘own the five most expensive cars in the game’ and ‘have the winning bid for a Unicorn car’ (both of which are apparently fucking next to impossible in the previous games) they’ve also added this particular gem…

Yep, that’s right.  It’s fucking begun.  Rich

Peoww News

That’s something now isn’t it?  35 million people happily racially abusing me on Xbox Live for being English (and for being properly shit at online FPS games).  Still, it’s a milestone. The figure comes from Xbox Live marketing manager Robin Burrowes who refused to be drawn on whether or not that figure was limited to just Gold accounts or not. We presume that he wasn’t asked why with so many users, Xbox are seemingly incapable of doing a Deal of the Week that doesn’t involve shit DLC for Rock Band every couple of weeks but even so, 35 million. That’s quite impressive. Rich

Peoww News

This game has been number one in the UK charts for NINE WEEKS now.  We’re old enough to remember the crack-addicted, vocal histrionics of overrated warbler Whitney Houston as she stanked up the number one spot for fifteen fucking weeks.  That cunt Brian Adams pulled a similar cunt’s trick with some fucking ballad about Robin Hood or something.  Our conclusion:  we live in a nation of cocksuckers.  Rich

Oh do fuck off.

Peoww News

We are going to fucking KILL anyone we see from Vicious Cycle when we gatecrash the Eurogamer Expo in September.  Seriously, 150 hours into this fucking shit and it just doesn’t end.  It hasn’t done ANYTHING different since the tenth minute of the game.

Death, Eric.  DEATH.

Anyone else going to Eurogamer?  If you see us in our PEOWW shirts, and don’t work for Vicious Cycle, make sure you come up and say hi.  Rich