Peoww News

Quelle horreur! Among the many announcements at the industry jizzfest Gamescom, was the unveiling of a new FIFA Street installment. Trailer here. It looks bloody horrific.

After the cel shaded monstrosity that was whorey favourite FIFA Street 3, EA seem to have ditched the 4 making this a wanky reboot, much like the forthcoming SSX.

He looks even more ridiculous in real-life.

Still, since most of the development team upped ship post-FS3 development and went on to make the excreble Pure Football (FIFA Street on full sized pitches with online multiplayer hosted by Ubisoft on what appears to be a Pentium II), they probably figured that they’d farm it out to some poor saps who joined the company with high hopes.

It looks like they’ve ditched the cel-shading and the caricatures (Peter Crouch’s already exagerrated features being a previous highlight), opting instead for recycling of player assets from the flagship main FIFA series. Also gone are the favela-style arenas, seemingly replaced with more realistic pitches including indoor wooden boards.

Either way, it’s probably going to be horrible. As long as it has the same TA ratio for what amount to easy achievements like it’s predecessor and pseudo-sequel, I think there’ll be a market for it among gamerscore whores.

We predict it’ll be less than twenty quid within two months of release, the clout of EA being the only factor for it not dropping sooner. The obligatory hateful DLC is bound to follow soon thereafter. Ian