Peoww News

Today the world is going to end, according to some dickheads in America, and already we’re seeing bizarre behaviour from some people but this is our favourite story.  Clint Hockick (no really) has twatted that he finds LA Noire to be “derivative, uninspired, narcissistic. Nothing original to say, & said badly.”

Now that’s as maybe, various PEOWWsters have only just started playing it, but Clint is the the man responsible for Far Cry 2 which was 50,000 square kilometers of precisely fuck all.  Arguably the most tedious, uneventful sandbox game ever.

Pot.  Kettle.  Twat.  Rich

Peoww News

In a somewhat amusing turn of events, Rockstar proceeded to blame the current PS3 3.61  firmware for older 60Gb and 80Gb consoles overheating while playing their Sam Spade-em-up, L.A. Noire.  The fact that it was probably the most widely bought game in the US this week having nothing to do with the fact that a small percentage of consoles had issues, oh no!

Given Sony’s well-publicised current woes, this is akin to kicking a tramp while he’s on fire and pissing on him as you do so.

There soon followed a rather rapid bit of backtracking on their blog where they retracted their previous statement while also implying that they were cosy bedfellows with the Japanese electronics giant.

The lesson learned being don’t make rash statements about platform holders consoles as their lawyers are bound to pay attention. They’re usually much bigger than you and can afford a lengthy litigation process, unlike yourselves.

Incidentally, L.A. Noire is out today in the UK on 360 & PS3.  Ian

Peoww News

Well, we sort of liked the new Mortal Kombat game.  That said, we’re already bored of it.  We’d try for the achievements max but unfortunately we don’t have a fucking month to waste on it.

So that shit’s getting lashed when something good comes out.  But in the meantime, Warner Bros have announced that XBLA will be getting Mortal Kombat Kollection, a collection of the first three games.

UMK3 was available a while back but got pulled from XBLA when Midway went tits up but it’ll be part of this package along with the first game (pretty good) and second one (ace).  They’ll probably ruin the whole thing by throwing in ranked match achievements.  We maxed UMK3 and that included getting 100 ranked wins.  Every single one of them was against a cunt.  Bad times.   Rich

Peoww News

Three years has passed since the last numbered SoulCalibur made it’s debut on next-gen systems. Since then, many important fighting game franchises have returned to the fray, and Namco-Bandai are undoubtedly hoping to capitalise on renewed popular interest in the genre with newly announced SoulCalibur V.

Set seventeen years after the events of SCIV, in which some dude called Algol got twatted by Yoda (in what I consider to be the canon ending), Sophitia’s son Patroklos, along with older versions of the regular cast (GILF Ivy, anyone?) and potentially a few cameos from other, more bankable series, have to uncover, quote, “the enigma as to why the swords have become short swords”.

Intriguing story developments aside, the gameplay promises to be “lighter, sharper, and more elegant” (how that applies to a character like Astaroth, I can’t imagine), while “combos will be easier to perform, and the moves will be easier to pull out.” As a unrepentant noob when it comes to beat ’em ups, this is a change I can welcome. Now, if only they’d address my biggest gripe with IV – the fucking atrocious character design.  Adam

Peoww News

It’s not easy being massive alien fanboys and after the risible AvP and Colonial Marines getting passed over for fucking some Duke Nukem shit, we’ve not had any reasons to celebrate.  But this may soon change.

Sega West boss Mike Hayes has been saying that Sega’s new Aliens game will “rival Dead Space 2″ which is a good thing we suppose.  

The game is being handled by Total War devs Creative Assembly.  This might mean its some strategy shit but they’re remaining tight-lipped on the whole thing. 

Also, Colonial Marines might be getting shown off at E3.  MEEEEP!  Our friends over at Gaming Lives are there.  We’ll ask them.