GTA V gets previewed a bit.

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Peoww News

Not by us.  We can’t be bothered finding out that sort of shit (read: we’re not important enough to get access to Rockstar’s knob).  But anyway, Game Informer (who?) have had access to the preview build and have vomited eighteen fucking pages of pre-cum all over the world.

We can’t claim to have read it apart from this little morsel;

“GTA V’s world is bigger than Red Dead Redemption, San Andreas and GTA 4 combined.  With room to spare”

Or as we like to call it:  too fucking big then.  Great.  Get used to traipsing about the place like a pointless cunt then.  Rich

Curiosity Killed The Shat

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Peoww News

Continual purveyor of lies, hyperbole and disappointment, Peter Molyneux, has unveiled his latest creation to the world courtesy of his current dev-team 22 Cans.

Titled Curiousity – What’s Inside The Cube, it consists of a nebulous cube with multiple layers made up of millions of tiny little cubes that have to be tapped individually by players around the world, in order to make them disappear. The next layer isn’t available to tap away at until all the cubes in the current layer have gone. At the time of writing, two out of six faces on the cube are clear with vestigial shadows remaining on the other four.  No-one knows what is inside (or maybe they do, we literally can’t be bothered to check – Ed).

We’re waiting for the next layer to arrive so we can tap out obscenities as is our want. Or maybe try for another montrous effigy of a z-grade celebrity, front runner being Afroman (12 J’s of X-Mas).

Curiosity is available for free on the iThing and Android.  Ian

 

Ask Giant Minecraft Dyer #2: The GMA Doritos Debacle

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With games journalism being further called into question when a bunch of so-called journalists tweeted promotional hashtags at the GMAs for the chance to win PS3 consoles and Doritos or something (fuck, I don’t know), one of our readers asked THE 100FT MINECRAFT DANNY DYER HEAD “Hello mammoth stoney Dyer.  What do you make of all this GMA PS3 Dorito nonsense and especially Lauren Wainwright who had the Eurogamer article edited after she was named as something or other (fuck I don’t know either) ?“

The Dyer

I don’t know who the geezer is to be fair.  You know what, I do think there are people who have a serious problem with me but you know what, I get a lot of love in this country.

You know what, I get a lot of love from men.  Which is quite a rare thing.  This geezer clearly ain’t a man.  He’s obviously some two-bob fackin wrong ‘un who’s a failed facking writer.  Lauren Wainwright?  Fucking Kermit?

You’ve got to turn it in, Sunshine.   Know what I mean?  You know, respect your own.  You know, I’m not claiming to be Laurence Olivier, I’m just earning a pound note.

If I come across ya, I'll put something right across your facking cannister.